The Life in the Spirit Seminars in CalgaryGus

Let Go. Let God

The Life in the Spirit Seminars in Calgary was held on June 30 – July 2, 2006, by the members of CUNAE service team, Juliana Jeon, Cathy Choi, Ray Cho, Peter Chu and Fr. Cho. For almost all of the 51 participants, including some that came down from Edmonton to attend, it was our first time attending the spiritual seminar. Participants came with their own personal expectations of the seminar. A few were there for the second time to reconnect with the Spirit that they had met previously. For the others it was going to be the first time to experience the presence of God through the Holy Spirit. Some came with the desire to have their hardships and weaknesses taken away, while some others simply came to enjoy a break from the real world. Although we gathered with different reasons it was clear by the end of the third day that God had invited each one of us for a reason.

“Let go. Let God.” These words were delivered to us on the first day. It must have been the case for many that these words did not have much meaning as we started our three day journey towards God. On the first day the praises sometimes seemed to lack inspiration, energy and devotion. Some might have had doubts on their being at the seminar and what sort of change they might really experience. However, with God’s presence and His will to never give up on us and through inspirational lectures and personal testimonies of the volunteers the hearts and minds of many of us were starting to open up by the second day. Many showed tears during a play depicting our lives and the way we neglect Jesus and put the burden of cross on Him by our words and actions. We were guided to be truthful to God and to not be ashamed before His mercy as each and every one looked back at our lives and received God’s forgiveness during confessions.

On the third day God had given new meaning to life and new life itself to us all. During the Baptism of the Holy Spirit we opened up to God and let the Holy Spirit enter as He filled us with love and peace and took away the pain and sorrows. There were tears and prayers. The closing mass was celebrated with overwhelming happiness and filled with love and peace for God and one another. It was the new beginning for us, together as one. As we stepped outside God was waiting to celebrate and congratulate us for our new lives by presenting us with three beautiful rainbows hanging right above in the sky. And we all knew that God was with us and that He would always be with us.

Yesterday on July 15, 2006 we at St. Anne’s in Calgary held our first young adults’ charismatic prayer meeting since the seminar. A little over twenty of us gathered together to build upon the flame that God sparked in us through the hands of the Holy Spirit two weeks ago.

As Christians, do we live our lives based on happiness defined by God? Or, is God more of a tool for us to turn to for a temporary fix of our broken dreams, outer and inner wounds gained from living in this world in an effort to meet the society’s and our own standards through which we are continuously put down, get hurt by others and in turn hurt others back. We concern ourselves with how the other people look at us. What about how God would look at us? For me, I never based my life on God and never much cared how I would look to Him.

I first met Him at age twelve when my parents took me to church. He was a stranger. After a couple of years I started to deny Him. He was never there for me to see, touch, feel or hear. Some ten years later at age twenty-four I was for the first time lost and in extremely inner pain. It seemed I had no future anymore. I turned to God, but only for a temporary fix. After he gave me new hope, I gradually drifted away from Him again.

I was building walls around me. Like it had always been, my mind was back to “It’s all me. I will succeed. I will show those people who have ever hurt me. I don’t need anybody.” I felt betrayed at certain occasions, and from then on I built anger and doubt towards the world and people. Although I prayed for inner peace, the strength to forgive and capacity to love the deliveries from God never arrived. I had never let go of all the things I was holding onto in my everyday life that I could not open the door for the Holy Spirit to enter and deliver God’s gifts.

“Let Go. Let God.“ I cannot put into words the experience at the seminar. How does a baby explain in words the experience of coming out of the womb into the world? I can only try.

God helped me to open up my heart and my mind. He gave me the strength to express all my true feelings of hurt, anger and hatred. By assuring the imperfectness of human beings he guided me to confess my mistakes and sins. On the last day of the seminar I was born again. I came into the world as the Holy Spirit gently shaked my body and held my hands as I let go of my past through tears. When I let go of it all the Holy Spirit delivered to me the precious gifts of love, peace and forgiveness that God had so anxiously been waiting for me to accept.